Back In The Driving Seat! Emily's Story & How It All Began..

Hi there,

My name is Emily, I am 24 years old and I was diagnosed

with Non Epileptic Attack Disorder (N.E.A.D) back in November 2014.

This is my story and how it all began.

I was always a very anxious child, and I know that Anxiety can be one of the main driving forces behind these unforgiving attacks. I had Separation Anxiety from my mum from six months old and this carried on till I started school. I was then diagnosed with Selective Mutism, which is where you only speak to very close family members. Mum and dad were the only people I spoke to. I have three older siblings, I only spoke to them occasionally.

From the age of two until five years old I didn't talk to anyone that felt slightly unfamiliar. This included family,friends at school and anybody else who I felt unfamiliar with.

In 2011 I had my very first panic attack and at the time I didn't know what was happening. I was in college, and this wave of absolute fear came over me. I was sweating, shaking, hyperventilating and crying so I was sent home! From then on these attacks happened all the time. I work as a Gymnastics coach in Sale. I love what I do, so when the attacks started happening at work, they had a real impact on my life.

In 2014 I was having a real hard time. I was having panic attacks all the time. I was crying lots and struggling to go into work. In the June I was at work, what started out as a normal panic attack, ended up as a trip to the hospital. I was fainting multiple times and struggled to stay conscious. I would shake and felt like I had no control over my limbs. I would be awake, but I wouldn’t respond to anybody or anything. If people tried to get me to walk, I would faint again. I went into hospital, they did every test you can think of: blood tests, MRI’s, CAT scans, heart monitors and ECG’s. They all came back normal! I then got referred to a Neurologist. My parents recorded a video of me having an attack. The neurologist watched the video and said it's not Epilepsy, but i still had to undergo more tests just to be sure. It took six months to do all the tests!

November came around and the Neurologist diagnosed me with N.E.A.D. More specifically Dissociative Seizures. It was a Champagne and a hangover moment because we were delighted we knew what it was, but was clueless on how to treat it! I was put on Sertraline to help with the anxiety side of things, and also to help with the Depression.

I was having attack after attack, at the dinner table, in front of the TV, at Yoga, at work and even in restaurants! I was then referred to Salford Royal Hospital as they have a team of NeuroPsychologists who specialize in N.E.A.D. I had 10 sessions of therapy over a period of three months. It wasn’t enough, so i was referred to another therapist.

The new therapist knew everything there was to know about N.E.A.D. I told her my life story and she told me what causes them and how to prevent them. She also told me why they happen to me and gave me strategies to use if I feel the symptoms of an attack starting. I have been seeing this therapist for nearly two and a half years and I am hoping to be discharged in the new year. She has helped me and my family out so much. I went 15 months attack free, got my driving license back and have felt much more confident in myself.

I still get attacks every now again, but now, I can look back and 90% of the time i can find a reason why it happened.

Having N.E.A.D is a shocking, confusing and difficult condition to live with, you experience so many emotions. I went through every single negative emotion you could think of.

If you are struggling with N.E.A.D it is my wish that if there is one thing you can take from this blog, its this.. Please know there is hope. Please know that you can make it through, you will get your life back, perhaps even start driving again and you will make it to the other end

of that long, dark tunnel and see the light. If I can do it then it's absolutely possible for you to do it too.

Never lose hope!!

Thank You for reading my story.

Best wishes

Emily Carr